Transformers: Dark of The Moon (2.5/10)

So this is suppose to be a  movie, I call horse shit! This is abomination of the cinema, it's is nearly everything wrong with movies. Why? There is nothing about the film I can say something really positive about. Acting, directing, editing and script are in an abysmal pit and deserve to rot down there. The special effects... it's the same thing as before. So why should it be good if it's the same old crap. Now the normal sequel looks to bring up points the first film can't bring up. "Spider-Man 2" does great work with a superhero turning away from his powers. "The Dark Knight" talks about the chaos a man like Batman brings to his good intentions. "Transformers 3" does nothing interesting, it's just a new and still poor reason for robots to be fighting. Peter Travers said this movie will make you die a little inside, I can see why (maybe too far, but what other movie can you say that about?)

You know what... fuck the plot. I'm not going to even describe the thing in full detail. The five minutes writing it is more than it deserves. Shia LaBeouf (the douche of hollywood) is back and just as terrible. He's slightly better than the last one, but I had more fun fighting the chill from the rain than watching the movie when I saw it at the drive in. Megan Fox is gone and the replacement is Victoria Secret model Rosie Huntington Whiteley. You know the casting director was probably looking at her looks when she was casted because there's no acting talent here. I heard Amber Heard, an actual talented actress was rumored for the part. I'm glad she didn't do the movie because no amount of talented actors can save this bombed out building of a experience. So the Autobots want to to stop the Decepticons from bringing Cybertron to Earth through a portal, this way the humans are not made into slaves to rebuild the planet. Well it's about 1:30 to get to the final battle and everything getting there is just bad. The finale isn't really better, but the explosions will wake you up after falling asleep to the dialogue (that would be a welcome escape). The battle jumps around so much it makes no sense at all. One second there's fighting, next there's something showing something completely contradictionary to what you just saw. The finale stole items from other movies as well. The famous "Inception" score is there, a direct shot from "Doom" and Michael Bay even used stock footage from his film "The Island". I had more fun laughing at the "Inception" score than any forced joke they try to shove down your throat on you.

This is a awful, terrible, and a piece of shit movie. Why? Movies are suppose to be special, made with care, to invoke the mind. This one dumbs it down from minute one. I've never given a rating this bad before, but this is the one that deserves it. "Boondock Saints 2: All Saint's Day", "The Season of The Witch" and "Paranormal Activity" came close, but here's the winner. I'm saving the 1/10 score for the worst movie I think I'll ever see. I don't want to say anything to good about the movie, because I don't want to give you hope. It however is not deserving of that 1/10. Don't get me wrong though, this movie sucks. Watching a movie "just to see explosions" is not great reason to see a movie. I can go online and watch things getting blown up on youtube to see that. The action needs to have story for you to care and  this one falls flat. The actors at least have something more to do in the battles unlike the other ones, however because it took three movies to do that it's hardly something to boast about. "Transformers: Dark of The Moon" is one of the low point's in film history.

2.5/10
Recommendation: If you like the Transformers saga then you should like this. I wasn't a fan of the first, but I thought the special effects were groundbreaking. The second is worst than this. That is a horrible thing! If you thought the second was a good movie or somehow liked it, you'll like this. I would never recommend this movie otherwise. I saw it because I wanted to see if Peter Travers was right, I'll let you decide but his words don't look to bad right now.