Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Movies you should stop watching after a certain point

How many times have you watched a movie and the last act or so sucks? It happens to me a lot. I'm not talking about an ending, like a twist. However just a new angle enters the movie and it goes downhill for on average I'd say the next 45 minutes. So here's a list of movies you should just consider turning off after certain points, and the movie will be much better for it. This list is for fun, I'd never really suggest stop watching a movie, but if your dvd is somehow got scratched then thank whoever did that. This entire list will have spoliers FYI. This list is personal so you my not agree with me, but I think it makes sense. "So... here...we...go" (note: just because I quoted "The Dark Knight", does not mean it belongs on this list. That's a masterpiece from beginning to end.)

"Jurassic Park II"
So remember the part where the T-Rex is running around the suburbs of some town at the end movie. Just cause King Kong can do it in NYC, then why can't a dinosaur? Well when said dinosaur kills everyone on board a ship, yet is still somehow stuck below, Jeff Goldblum tries again to make a memorable quote (and fails), there's like two bad gimmick jokes ("there's no dinosaur out your window timmy") and a mess of other things happen that explains why. So I suggest stop watching when the get on the helicopter to leave the island, them flying away like the other two films makes sense.

"The Girl Next Door"
The scene when Matthew (Emile Hirsch) works up the courage to walk over and kiss Danielle (Elisha Cuthbert) is actually quite sweet. Top it off with This Year's Love by David Gray and it's a very nice scene. Actually everything up until this point has been great. The first time you see Danielle is engraved into my memory. After the kiss enter the porn angle and it all goes sour. The first third isn't groundbreaking and as pure as it seems. It's still sweet and has some strength in a "Risky Business"  style. Danielle's character loses almost all thought and just follows whatever director Kelly (Timothy Olyphant) says. The film is devoid of charm now and it's just bad. I can think of only two scenes after the kiss I actually like, not just tolerate. I still enjoy this movie, but an amazing first half and a poor second half don't add up well.

"The Beach"
This may sound strange coming from me, but I enjoy my favorite book more than my favorite movie. "The Beach" by Alex Garland is my favorite book and an average movie. The first half isn't too bad. It changes some details but nothing major. However not only is the second half drastically different from the book, but in general just a poorer part. I saw the movie first and felt the same way. The best way to make this movie better is to stop it after Richard (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Francoise (Virginie Ledoyen) kiss. This seen never happens in the book and I hate that part because of it (it works so much better without it), but it would be a nice place to stop for the average movie goer. I'd suggest reading the book over the movie, but the kiss should be the final straw you should take from the strange ending. I may be writing a list for best and worst book adaptions soon so look out for that one.

"Spirits: Origins Of The Past"
An animated movie but the point remains the same. I love the first half and despise (maybe too strong a word, but still) the second. The first part shows a town in a future where the forest has overtaken most the world. The small town banter is fun and the characters are incredibly pleasant. The film's colors are a wonder for the eye. Too bad the action heavy and bizarre second half seem forced. Stop watching after the character Agito enters the forest, know you've seen all you really have too.

"Sunshine"
I'm actually going to just post a excerpt from a list and review that sums up my thoughts quite well


Where it turns bad: let’s make this a slasher movie!
Sunshine is one of those great unheralded sci-fi movies.  It has a clean, simple concept — a handful of humans are on a mission to re-ignite the dying sun.  Its characters are well-drawn and well-acted.  The plot is specific, well thought-out, and it contains some of the most suspenseful scenes I’ve ever witnessed.  No joke.
But then the movie doesn’t live up to its promise in the final half hour, which is your basic there’s-a-killer-on-the-ship slasher movie in space.  It’s depressing, but I’m telling you right now: watch it anyway.  The rest of the movie is too insanely good to give up on just because of a sub-par third act.
and

"it's during the final act that Garland's science-based approach starts to go haywire, as he struggles for a conclusion to his Big Idea and can only come up with a fuzzy religioso message (rather like "2010") capped by an increasingly visceral, killer-on-the-loose finale. Latter becomes progressively more ridiculous after the script's earlier, careful calibrations."

yea that's how I feel too.

"The Village
I've never met a person who likes the ending of this movie. Most just hate the whole thing. I myself like the first half and think the other is beyond ridiculous. I say stop watching after Joaquin Phoenix and Bryce Dallas Howard kiss. The true nature of the village seems interesting for 5 seconds and then just feels cheap. The first half is good not great, but the second is undeniably bad

"I Am Legend"

I actually was going to write something but on the same list where i found the "Sunshine" except I saw one that summed up my feelings for this one too. so here's the link (I'm allowed to be lazy once and a while)

Where it turns bad: the dog dies.
It’s not the dog dying that makes the movie suck.  That part’s sad.  It’s just that before the dog dies, it’s a really cool movie about the last man on earth: we begin with old footage of a woman on TV claiming that they’ve cured cancer, and then we smash cut to a completely empty Manhattan.  Will Smith carries the movie on his back like the pro he is as we find more about who he is and how he avoids the creepy screaming things that come out at night.
It’s all very cool until the dog dies, Will Smith tries to kill himself, and two other humans show up.  Then it’s just a lot of lame CGI nonsense, a shoehorned-in message about spirituality, and an ending that wimps out.
I'll probably update this list from time to time, so heads up.

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