Season of the Witch (4/10)

Oh God! This movie SUCKS! I think I have a new worst movie of the year. I was expecting bad, critics were giving it on average 1.5/4 and 2/4 stars. That doesn't bother me. "Kick-Ass" and "Watchmen" were getting average to mediocre reviews upon release. Days later those reviews were balanced out though and both now have large fan bases. The reviews didn't change here and I see why. Speaking of critics, 3/5 said they lost count of the number of sieges they show at the start of the movie. I laughed then, but now I understand, I had to stop and think about it after. This is not a good movie, it's bad.

So Nicholas Cage and Ron Perlman (not even bothering to look up character's name) are knights? Crusaders? Big guys with swords.... yea that one. So anyway they are captured for being deserters or being famous fighters. I'm not to sure and neither will you. Anyway they say for your freedom you need to bring a witch to a monastery to perform the proper "send off", I don't know what to call it. They want to read from special bible to break the curse they believe she casted (that being the black death) So those two along with a priest (don't care who), a alter boy who wants to be a knight (BJ or the gay prostitute from the "Red Riding Trilogy") and a con artist (Stephen Graham, fire your agent) set off to the monastery with the witch in a cage. However there is a rigidly bridge and and a pack of wolves in the way. God help us all! The witch does have some promise at first to see if she is real or not. I thought that was interesting for 5 minutes before they ruin it. The final battle sucks and the ending sucks. I gave "Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance" a 4.5/10, don't think this means their similar because of the rating. "Vengeance" was just made poorly, they create a boring mode instead of a dramatic one. It's still miles better. "Season of the Witch" just sucks. I'd give it a worse score but they could have done a poorer job. It's not a compliment, but that's the nicest thing I'll say about this movie. Talented actors are wasted, plot ruined, director... well he sucks anyway, and it all equals a awful movie. I saw this on a plane, that may change how some watch movies, but I've seen movies I loved for the first time on planes ("The Savages" being the best). Anyway I get air sickness alot and often land feeling awful. It may not plane this time (haha I joke, but still... this movie is terrible).

4/10
Recommendation: DON'T SEE IT!!!