Best and Worst Classic Super Heroes Movies

So with the release of The Dark Knight Rises I thought it might be fun to make list of the worst to best super hero movies. Nothing is set in stone here and I'm sure some choices will be up for debate but everybody would have a different list. Farthest back I'll go is the original Tim Burton Batman (sorry Superman). I haven't seen every one (Ghost Rider) but I got the majority Here we go!

37.) Cat Woman
36.) Batman & Robin
35.) Elektra
34.) Fantastic Four
33.) Fantastic Four 2: Rise of The Silver Surfer
32.) Dare Devil
31.) Green Lantern
30.) X-Men 3: The Last Stand
29.) Spider-Man 3
28.) Blade Trinity
26.) The Incredible Hulk
25.) X-Men Origins: Wolverine
24.) Iron Man 2
23.) Thor
22.) Batman Forever
21.) X-Men
20.) Blade
19.) Hellboy
18.) Hulk
17.) Superman Returns
16.) Batman Returns
15.) Captain America: The First Avenger
14.) Batman
13.) The Avengers
12.) X-Men: First Class
11.) Spider-Man
10.) X2: X-Men United
9.) The Amazing Spider-Man
8.) Blade II
7.) Hellboy 2: The Golden Army
6.) Watchmen
5.) Iron Man
4.) Batman Begins
3.) Spider-Man 2
2.) The Dark Knight Rises
1.) The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight Rises (***1/2 out of ****)

The Dark Knight Rises does the impressive job of bringing Christopher Nolan's staggering and monumental trilogy to a satisfying conclusion. The series has has done a 180 on the super hero formula and come out perhaps the better. Instead of light hearted fun and other worldly powers (even some literal cases), the Dark Knight trilogy is filled with despair, paranoia, prejudice but the biggest idea the series presents is there is also hope. A light that shines through even when the rest of the world has gone pitch black. The Dark Knight Rises is gigantic summer blockbuster that wraps up the trilogy while bringing in big ideas and awe inspiring cinematic entertainment.

Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) has become a hermit in the time from the last film, The Dark Knight. Eight years have past and Batman has not reemerged to either hate or glory. It isn't until "meeting" a certain thief that he decides to come back to society and see what the world has become without his influence. This thief is Selina Kyle (Anne Hathaway) better known as her alice Cat Woman. She is a dangerous and intelligence woman with deep personal problems (who hasn't those here?). Selina is unsure if she can join modern society and whether mischievous stealing can continue forever. Upon Bruce's return he learns of the presence of Bane (Tom Hardy). A golem of a man that carries the philosophical ideas of a revolutionary but with the strength to even over power the Caped Crusader. Bane has big plans for Gotham and it will take everything Batman has in him to even try to stop the masked madmen.

Returning is Michael Caine in effective short scenes as Alfred, Bruce's lifelong butler/caretaker. There is also Morgan Freeman, the "Q" of the series. Lastly retuning is the ever faithful Gary Oldman as commissioner Jim Gordon. Newer members of the cast fit in just right with the old and feel like they've been here all along. There is Joseph Gordon Levitt in a emotional performance has rookie cop John Blake, who ideas of hope are what Bruce once had eight years ago. Lastly there is the always good Marion Cotillard as Miranda Tate, a investor in Wayne enterprises. As for Bale, Hardy and Hathaway, all deserve praise. Bale brings soul to his character, Hardy lives and breathes his role and Hathaway steal the show in every scene she's in a sexy and fun performance that never comes close to eye candy nor camp, but is always somebody who is genially interesting.

The Dark Knight Rises which feels a lot like a final chapter rather than a stand alone movie is very affective in giving the the series the conclusion a wondrous finale. That finale being a pulse pounding climax that is unlike any other. There are a lot of fantastic little scenes. Without saying too much a fight scene between Bane and Batman doesn't contain any music. The brutal reality of the monster Batman faces terrifying.  Big ideas are brought up from the comic books and there are some beautiful changes to fit the story (the smallest spoiler I'll give is just wait and see how a prison is this series' Lazarus Pit). Things feel bigger here than every before. Despite being a big success the film could improve in some areas. Some of it comes down to Bane, his mouthpiece makes hard to understand what he is saying and the gravity of his words get lost in the scuffle. Also Bane's plans seem a bit contradicting of giving life to the people (you'll see). Despite small flaws (The Dark Knight had them too) the finished product is too hard not to admire. It's a super hero movie unblinking cynicism of today's society (post 9/11 anxiety ) and will feed on your every emotion. However you'll welcome it. The Dark Knight Rises is a triumph and the ending the people deserve.

***1/2 out of ****

The Amazing Spider-Man (*** out of ****)

Only five years after the last Spider-Man film and only ten years after the original Sam Raimi version we have a reboot of the series. There are complaints of this film coming out too soon after the death of the last franchise. Well they're right but that's more a problem to bring up with Sony Pictures. For the most part The Amazing Spider-Man contains some great work in the comic book movie genre. The idea of the reboot isn't so strange. We've had three different Batman stories (with four different caped crusaders) in a span of sixteen years. I'll take a rather good Spider-Man reboot after fiver years rather than a fifteen year wait and have Joel Schumacher helmed version. It's best to look at this Spider-Man film for its strengths and ignoring its weaknesses that are there mostly because comparisons with the 2002 version.

Andrew Garfield plays Peter Parker this time around in a very charming performance. We're told Spider-Man's origins once again but with a bit more feeling. Peter is an outsider in high school but has many interesting characteristics. He's intelligent, quick with his words and has a strong sense of morals. It can be argued that Peter Parker is the best personality outside of a flashy suit in the comic books. The Amazing Spider-Man acts much like a coming of age story filled with awkward moments of girls, questioning care giver's instructions and a deep parental issues. The origin story spends more time building up Peter as character and has him accepting his powers in a fresh way. Of course how many times does one need to see the fate of Uncle Ben (Martin Sheen)?

Emma Stone plays Peter's first girlfriend Gwen Stacy who might just be the best love interest in recent super hero history. Stone and Garfield have wonderful chemistry together and really give meaning to Peter's quest to get the girl. It's not the perfect romance, sometimes it feels slightly like something that just has to happen rather than something Peter fights for. Either way Emma Stone is a delight and makes the film much better for it.

Peter is looking for clues on why his parents left him in the care of his aunt and uncle. The mystery leads him to his father's former college Dr. Curt Conners (Rhys Ifans) who's working on cross species genetics. Conners' goal is to regenerate his missing arm like a reptile would. However his reckless experimenting leads to his mutation known as the villain, The Lizard. While The Lizard appears sometimes too animated his presence is phenomenal. He's physically intimidating, scary, has a well crafted back story, intelligent and while appearing stronger than Spider-Man it's not impossible to imagine our hero winning in a straight up but brutal fight. The action scenes in this are the smoothest they've ever been. Their easy to follow, exciting and involve the risk of the people closest to Peter getting hurt. The Lizard might only be behind Nolan's and Burton's Batman villains and Spider-Man 2's Doc Oct (Green Goblin is really close if not tied for The Lizard's position).

The Amazing Spider-Man is quite good, it's probably the second best Spider-Man film (behind Spider-Man 2, a near perfect traditional super here movie). The action is great, the romance is better than the 2002 version, the origin story is told with more detail and  Peter's inner struggles are more compelling this time. Both this and Spider-Man have their strengths (the 2002 version deals better with Uncle Ben and Green Goblin does have the edge on where the heinous villain begins and the man under the masks ends), but overall The Amazing Spider-Man might be the better. Sure we got no J. Jonah Jameson this time around but Gwen Stacy's father (Dennis Leary) might just deliver the best line of the whole series, it's a fair trade. The comparisons and ideas on the need for a reboot will always be there. However just enjoy The Amazing Spider-Man for what it it, more web slinging fun.

*** out of ****

Headhunters (*** out of ****)

The best kind of thrillers draw you into the game their playing. This game can be both predictable and fresh, it just was to engage the audience's attention. Headhunters plays with the audience and even in it's darkest moments is a whole lot of fun.

Headhunters is gifted with the kind of protagonist a thriller needs. One that is cool, collected, smart, deceitful and can have that entire world thrown upside down. Roger Brown (Aksel Hennie) is a full time art thief and works for a security company (as a cover) on the side. He steals valuable paintings from people who interview for the company by asking detailed questions on their home life. One potential employee is a former head of a rival company named Clas Greve (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau). Roger learns Cles has a incredibly valuable paining and plans on stealing it but then everything that could go wrong does.

The film contains three scenes that are so wickedly entertaining that it was hard not to grin ear from ear. Those scenes are met with plenty of other fine scenes. In fact there aren't any significant flaws here. Only the story chooses cheap fashions to wrap up some events, nothing to bad though. The good severally outweighs the bad here. There are scenes of thrilling action, luring mystery and wicked black comedy, all of which is entertaining. Headhunters is a mind racing gem.

***1/2 out of ****

Ted (** out of ****)

Ted is a movie nearly void of anything resembling a intelligent joke and instead focuses on getting laughs. Whether these laughs are genuine, cheap or fast, Ted can often be funny. However the humor is temporary and Ted with a little help will fade from time as an excess of poor comedy that still manages to get a chuckle.

Before going into more critic the plot needs to be stated. A teddy bear is brought to life by a boy's wish for his best friend to be real. "Teddy" (voiced by Seth Macfarlane) becomes a overnight hit and gets worldwide coverage as a truly magical event. However 27 years later and now going by Ted, the stuffed animal is all but forgotten about or people just don't care anymore. Ted now lives with his childhood best friend so memorably named John (Mark Wahlberg) in a state of childhood arrested development. They smoke weed daily and watch Flash Gordon re-runs whenever possible. John's girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis) isn't pleased with this lack of maturing in John and motions him in a direction of adulthood away from Ted. Also in the movie is Joel Mchale playing Lori's boss, a one dimensional character that only wants to sleep with her, and Giovani Ribisi playing a man who wants Ted for his own. To the film's credit this may be the creepiest Ribisi character out there (tremendous praise for the actor).

Ted might just be the most pop culture littered movie of all time. Nearly every joke is similar to Macfarlane's show in the "remember that event (the audience then laughs cause they got the reference)". The jokes aren't bad in moderations but every minute for 115 is too much. Knowing Macfarlane's style this sort of humor was expected but that doesn't make it a good movie, it can get laughs but still be poor comedy. In this reference humor there are "jokes"that are only funny because a talking animated teddy bear is saying them. Ten seconds of a an actual person "singing like people from the 90s" seems cringe worthy, but Ted makes it somewhat appealing. So is this good humor or something looking for as many simple laughs as possible?

On this topic of comedy in Ted it's disturbing the lack of it at times. These times I'm referring to is the film's treatment of the idea of woman and comedy. As the film progressed I felt bad for Mila Kunis. Everyone knows she can be funny (That 70's Show, Friends With Benefits) or give a good performance (Black Swan) but here she is here to play the role of John's girlfriend with maybe two meager offerings of jokes. Women in Ted are here to act trashy and look pretty, not to tell an actual joke.

Hopefully and quite possibly Ted will be forgotten about in a decade. It's humor is based entirely on references and quick jokes. Not a hint of intelligence is to be seen here. Comedy and intelligence don't have to be mutually exclusive things. It won't be remembered as defining classics like Caddyshack, Animal House, or any Monty Python film. Those movies stand up for future generations and are still easily accessible. Ted seems like a movie that can be looked at years from now and have people asking "Who is Taylor Lautner, Justin Bieber and Susan Boyle?". Maybe much like Flash Gordon, the show John and Ted so love, it most likely will have no appeal to people introduced to it years from now.  Still Ted gets some laughs, the audience I watched the film with laughed often. Giovanni Ribisi's scenes, a party a Ted's place and Mark Wahlberg's willingness to through his all into the movie make it still somewhat entertaining. In the end though Ted predictable, a bit long, a decent amount of laughs, not to many clever jokes. and nothing to but a movie for the here and now.

Note: I don't due "the recommendations" section any more but for this I'll make an exception cause it makes a lot of sense. Do you want to watch an 115 minute long episode of later season Family Guy? If yes then go for it, you'll like it better than I probably did. If not you didn't miss a thing.

** out of ****